In a consult awhile back a Mom observed me giving feedback to a volunteer in her home play-based therapy program for her daughter with autism.  In the feedback I asked the volunteer a lot about how he felt, what his instincts were telling him, and I helped him realize that its important to notice the child's response and be able to adjust and bring your thoughts, experiences, and learnings back to the whole team.  We talked about how he is the only one with the child for that 2 hours, and his experiences whether similar or different to others were uniquely his. I expressed great appreciation towards him, his willingness to help the child and the family, and to learn more for future children.

Afterwards the Mom and I chatted about the feedback.  She realized that most of her feedbacks were mostly about how her team members should change instead of how they could contribute and help the team grow (and a little about exploring more effective ways to play). She had never thought about how celebrations were motivating to her team as well as her child. We talked more about how the more her individual team members feel like they are a valued, contributing member of her program, the more committed they will be to her child and the team.

Well, a month passed and we just had another consult.  Her program is doing amazing and the Mom just told me of how she has whole heartily taken on this concept of empowering her team.  When one member of her team expressed his desire to cut back playroom hours because of a busy schedule she asked him whether or not he was still interested in helping with the program.  When he convinced her he was, she asked if he would be willing to help the team in other ways besides playing.  He enthusiastically agreed to help recruit, watch the child for team meetings, and take over shifts when others were out. She said that he has since been very excited to find ways that he can help the team.  Similarly she has presented the opportunity to help in other ways to other team members.  Some team members take on the bulk of play hours and help recruit, orient, and train new team members.  Others play a few hours and then help with designing games, building a team website and spreading the word.

Even though her team is relatively new, they have all profoundly felt like they were a part of the team and are committed to seeing their home program succeed.  As you can imagine I was beyond impressed at how one woman's willingness to give her team more responsibility has paid off into a much more powerful home play based program.  One that benefits everyone, especially the Mom who is willing to trust her team.

I hope this inspires you as much as it inspired me!  Happy Playing! - Katrina

 I am honored to be able to work with a special boy every week.  His Mom is running a stellar full time home therapy program complete with team meetings to keep all of us up to date and consistent in our techniques and strategies. (I frequently help other teams run these as well, they are so helpful and needed when you have more than one person working with your child) She opens the meetings with different centering exercises to focus and inspire us.  The most recent activity that we did was to experiment with how we feel when others watch us with different expressions.  We paired off. One person (the child) drew a picture of the other person with their non-dominant hand, while the other person (the facilitator) watched.  We had 3 different run throughs, the first time the facilitator watched and celebrated with excitement, energy, and enthusiasm.  The 2nd time they just sat there, and the 3rd time they practiced a technique from the "Anat Baniel Method" called Enthusiasm, in which you silently love and appreciate everything the child is doing.  (We have been experimenting with all of these things with our special friend in the playroom too, so it was all pretty relevant).

       We all agreed that the celebrations actually felt the best to us as the child, even though the enthusiasm felt nice too.  Oddly in comparison to the other 2 techniques I actually felt when the facilitator just sat and watched with no expression, it was almost a negative experience.  I have done variations of this exercise before, but I love it every time as it really shows you the power of celebrating your child.

      Anyway, when I work with this boy in the playroom he does a lot of building exclusively with lincoln logs.  However the way he likes me to join him best (I wait until a child is wanting to engage with me before I try to interact), is to watch him build his structures.  Often we have a little bit of conversation about the building during this but not much.  Again today while I was lovingly and excitedly watching him, he made comments on what he was doing and what step he was on.  Occasionally I said mmm-hmmm, as a way to be with him in the moment.  He told me "Don't say mmm-hmmm!"  Then he clarified "YOU (with an emphasis on the you) are not allowed to say mmm-hmmm."  This was curious to me, so I asked him if others were allowed to say it and he told me yes.  Only I was not allowed to say" mmm-hmmm."  I quickly agreed with him and asked if I was allowed to say other things.  As it turns out I was allowed to say anything celebratory, like "cool", "awesome", or "I love that."  This was not the first time I had been scolded for saying "mmm-hmm" as in previous sessions this happened as well, although it was the first time I questioned it further.

I smiled and took his demands willingly as I continued to watch and celebrate his incredible lincoln log building design choices and skills. Later, I reflected on the exercise done in the team meeting and I was wondering how it felt to have someone say "mmm-hmm" to everything. I wondered if I was saying "mmm-hmm" as I was getting distracted and letting my mind wander.  Or maybe "mmm-hmm" is just not enthusiastic enough for him. By him calling me on it, was he bringing my attention back to the present moment? Is he telling me he likes to be celebrated more than just responded to?  I cannot presume to know my friends thoughts, but it definitely gave me some food for thought.  Our words and attitude are very important to our children.  Even when we are watching and joining they can feel our love, acceptance, and excitement.

I hope this gives you something to think about to.
Much love to you all!
Katrina