Experimenting is fun!
Do you want a rulebook for how to interact with your child? Wouldn't it just be easier if someone told you exactly what to do? Well, I know of a book that tells us secrets of how to work with your child, only ...your child is the author, and he actually hasn't written it yet :) But he can, with your help! What I am trying to say is each child is different and unique. If you want to know what works best with your child pay attention when you are playing with them. Now, our Son-Rise Program techniques have been tried, tested, and they work...most of the time, but they may need a little fine tuning with your child. For example...
When I was first training in the Son-Rise Program, I had the opportunity to work for an awesome dedicated Son-Rise family. (The Mom is so awesome, she now has her own national radio show and travels world wide for autism conferences) However, back then I thought she was doing it "wrong". When her child cried she simply turned her back and began to draw until he calmed down. I was outraged, "This isn't Son-Rise!" I told my teachers, totally expecting them to back me up. I still remember William's (an amazing senior teacher's) nonchalant expression as he shrugged his shoulders and told me that sometimes you need to tweak the techniques for the child. He related how there was a phase in Jade's program (his own child who had autism) when they didn't celebrate eye contact loudly because she would look away. I was definitely put in my place, parents (who pay attention) are the true experts on their child.
As a professional facilitator I can now tweak techniques naturally, I've had lots of experience testing new tricks (thats why we don't let people watch every part of the intensive, we need room to experiment :)). However I realize that often parents want rules and may not give themselves to the moment as much.
So, I have an idea. Start with the Son-Rise program basic techniques (joining, responding, building, requesting, etc.) use them with your child most of the time, pay attention to what works best and keep doing that. Then, maybe 30 minutes a week give yourself permission to experiment. Go into the playroom and be fully present, Let go of what you know and just tune into your child, try different things and watch how your child responds. If it messes with his vibe, let it go, be careful not to push something too hard. But, if it seems like its working, keep at it. After the 30 minutes, write down everything that happened so you don't forget. Then at your next team meeting present it to the group at large. Give them the opportunity to experiment with it over the next week or 2 (although only part of the time so you have something to compare it too), then talk about it at your next meeting, and if the technique holds up, add it to your repertoire (list of things to do). Let me know how it goes and if it works for you or not. I love when parents share, it keeps me in my place knowing that you are the expert on your child!
Best wishes,
Katrina
When I was first training in the Son-Rise Program, I had the opportunity to work for an awesome dedicated Son-Rise family. (The Mom is so awesome, she now has her own national radio show and travels world wide for autism conferences) However, back then I thought she was doing it "wrong". When her child cried she simply turned her back and began to draw until he calmed down. I was outraged, "This isn't Son-Rise!" I told my teachers, totally expecting them to back me up. I still remember William's (an amazing senior teacher's) nonchalant expression as he shrugged his shoulders and told me that sometimes you need to tweak the techniques for the child. He related how there was a phase in Jade's program (his own child who had autism) when they didn't celebrate eye contact loudly because she would look away. I was definitely put in my place, parents (who pay attention) are the true experts on their child.
As a professional facilitator I can now tweak techniques naturally, I've had lots of experience testing new tricks (thats why we don't let people watch every part of the intensive, we need room to experiment :)). However I realize that often parents want rules and may not give themselves to the moment as much.
So, I have an idea. Start with the Son-Rise program basic techniques (joining, responding, building, requesting, etc.) use them with your child most of the time, pay attention to what works best and keep doing that. Then, maybe 30 minutes a week give yourself permission to experiment. Go into the playroom and be fully present, Let go of what you know and just tune into your child, try different things and watch how your child responds. If it messes with his vibe, let it go, be careful not to push something too hard. But, if it seems like its working, keep at it. After the 30 minutes, write down everything that happened so you don't forget. Then at your next team meeting present it to the group at large. Give them the opportunity to experiment with it over the next week or 2 (although only part of the time so you have something to compare it too), then talk about it at your next meeting, and if the technique holds up, add it to your repertoire (list of things to do). Let me know how it goes and if it works for you or not. I love when parents share, it keeps me in my place knowing that you are the expert on your child!
Best wishes,
Katrina
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