In a consult awhile back a Mom observed me giving feedback to a volunteer in her home play-based therapy program for her daughter with autism.  In the feedback I asked the volunteer a lot about how he felt, what his instincts were telling him, and I helped him realize that its important to notice the child's response and be able to adjust and bring your thoughts, experiences, and learnings back to the whole team.  We talked about how he is the only one with the child for that 2 hours, and his experiences whether similar or different to others were uniquely his. I expressed great appreciation towards him, his willingness to help the child and the family, and to learn more for future children.

Afterwards the Mom and I chatted about the feedback.  She realized that most of her feedbacks were mostly about how her team members should change instead of how they could contribute and help the team grow (and a little about exploring more effective ways to play). She had never thought about how celebrations were motivating to her team as well as her child. We talked more about how the more her individual team members feel like they are a valued, contributing member of her program, the more committed they will be to her child and the team.

Well, a month passed and we just had another consult.  Her program is doing amazing and the Mom just told me of how she has whole heartily taken on this concept of empowering her team.  When one member of her team expressed his desire to cut back playroom hours because of a busy schedule she asked him whether or not he was still interested in helping with the program.  When he convinced her he was, she asked if he would be willing to help the team in other ways besides playing.  He enthusiastically agreed to help recruit, watch the child for team meetings, and take over shifts when others were out. She said that he has since been very excited to find ways that he can help the team.  Similarly she has presented the opportunity to help in other ways to other team members.  Some team members take on the bulk of play hours and help recruit, orient, and train new team members.  Others play a few hours and then help with designing games, building a team website and spreading the word.

Even though her team is relatively new, they have all profoundly felt like they were a part of the team and are committed to seeing their home program succeed.  As you can imagine I was beyond impressed at how one woman's willingness to give her team more responsibility has paid off into a much more powerful home play based program.  One that benefits everyone, especially the Mom who is willing to trust her team.

I hope this inspires you as much as it inspired me!  Happy Playing! - Katrina

Recently I was at the lake with my family on vacation.  Our cousin had brought his boat and we all took turns going out on the water.  I was on the 2nd boating adventure and was told all of the kids were riding on a training water ski tube, it was easy and I should do it first this trip even though I had never done it.   I asked for directions and was told to hold the rope with my arms straight and lean back.  All the kids were doing it, so I agreed to give it an enthusiastic go.  

As I got on the tube out on the water I told them to "hit it", the boat started going fast with me dragged behind it.   I held my arms straight it didn't feel right, but that's what I was told to do, so I stood up and leaned back...and immediately flipped over into the water.   Hmmmm, what was I not doing right?   I was told I was the first to end up in the water that day.  Determined I tried again - this time I listened a bit more to my body and I held on for a little bit, but when I was feeling confident again I held out my arms and leaned back and again I flipped immediately.  While the water was refreshing, my ego was bruised.  How could I not do what all of the kids were easily doing?  I decided to take a break, watch the others and learn from the pros.

As I watched my young nieces take turns managing the jet ski tube with little effort and enjoying the ride, I realized that no one was leaning back or keeping their arms straight.  Instead they were all paying attention to what works for them, balancing, and rebalancing accordingly. I decided to give it another shot without worrying about the rules of how I was told to do it.  I got out on the water, experimented and listened to my own body, and low and behold - it was as easy as everyone had told me.  I stood doing what was right for me, leaning a bit forward with my arms pulled in at my side. I never flipped once and it was awesomely exhilarating. 

As I sat on the boat afterwards contemplating my journey, I realized how similar it is to running a home therapy program. Many parents come to me worried that they are not running their program "right."  They want to hear the perfect techniques to get their child to engage and grow. I was very much like this when I started my training, I was very frustrated that my teachers would not just tell me the "right" way to do things.  I now know that what they were trying to teach me all those years ago was to simply trust myself, experiment, and pay attention to what works best. I wish they would have just told me what I am now telling you. If you take the techniques you read here, or from going to programs, or reading books and you are using them and they don't feel comfortable to you, It may be because you are trying too hard to do the "right" thing.

Growing a trusting, inspiring relationship with your child cannot just be taught from books or other peoples rules.  It is also about trusting yourself, that you are an expert on your child and what works best for your family. No one is watching you (unless you want to book a video feedback), so relax, have fun, pay attention to what works with you and your child - balance, rebalance and enjoy the ride!

More and more parents of children with autism are realizing that in order to get the kind of child centered therapy with the gratifying results they've dreamed of they have to take matters into their own hands.  Schools and therapy centers unfortunately do not have the time, resources, or dedication to make as much of an impact as caregivers can at home.  So, how does one go about starting their own home play based therapy program?

1. Commit to trying a home program out.  (Making the decision and following through is one of the most powerful things you can do.)
2. Find a place in your house that you can work with your child. (A quiet non-distracting room is best, but playing with your child is the most important, don't wait until you have the perfect room.)
3. Designate a time that you will play with your child 1 on 1, uninterrupted. (This is the hardest part, if you can do this, you can do a home therapy program!)  It's simply about making your child the priority for that time, decide to wait to do the dishes, turn off the TV, ignore facebook and your emails and give your child your undivided attention for at least 30 minutes.  
4. Go play!  When you are playing, focus completely on your child.  If your mind wanders to something else, acknowledge it, but then go back to focusing on your child.  Really play for the benefit of enjoying and learning about your child.  What makes them laugh, what makes them pause, what makes them back away?  Try to be responsive and respectful.  I often think of this type of play as "the golden rule", play with your child as you would have someone play with you.   If they seem to enjoy what is happening, keep going, add even more goofiness!   If your child is unresponsive and seems as if they aren't into the interaction, back off and find a way to enjoy what they are doing with them (or the same thing across the room) until them become interactive again.  Being respectful of your child's verbal or non-verbal no is just as important as the interactions themselves in creating a relationship.  Be easy on yourself, "dance like no one is watching," and reconnect to the give and take of childhood play.  (Here are some easy go to games to try - tickle, balloons, bubbles, chase, horsey rides, or even better play something you know your child loves such as reenacting Star Wars)  Start with one idea and just add on more and more as you play.

That's the basics!  There are many more advanced techniques and lots of different types of developmental play based approaches to look into that have different ways of requesting and working on skills.  I find all of them have benefit, the key is to try them out and see which one works for your child.  Each child is different and will respond in different ways.   I really find that the more in tune you are with your child, and the more fun you are having and not worrying too much about goals, you will find ways to model the skills you want to teach and your child will pick them up naturally.

 You as the parent know more about your child then anyone, and because you love them and already have a relationship with them you are the perfect person to help them develop their relationship building skills in a supportive environment which is key for many children, especially those with autism.  I guarantee that the time you spend with your child in this way will be worth it to you and them!!!!!  I know that you have what it takes and all the resources you need to be successful in your home therapy program. If you find yourself looking for a little more guidance, an ear to bounce ideas off of, or a burst of inspiration. I am here for you.
 
Best wishes and Happy Playing!
Katrina