Inspired Spectrums
katrina.kramlich@gmail.com
612-548-INSP(4677)
  • Home
  • About Katrina Kramlich
  • Testimonials
  • Blog
  • Contact Me

My Brother - My teacher

1/3/2013

3 Comments

 
Picture
Joey is my brother in law.  He is 26 and lives with his fellow special friends in a group home in North Dakota.  He doesn't talk much, and mostly communicates through grunts, pulling you in different directions, or hugs. He has a lot of physical challenges, he shakes his head a lot, and its not very easy to tell where he is looking. He is awesome!

Joey and I were able to reconnect a couple of weeks ago right before Christmas.  My family (my husband and daughters) decided that in order to really connect with Joey we needed to get him away.  There are too many distractions around the family house and his group home, and there are usually many other things to do, which stop us from really spending quality time.  So, we rented a cabin a few hours north near the Canadian border.  It had a big fireplace and 3 large futon couches that converted to beds. It also had a large table, a small boombox and a kitchen and bathroom. Outside it was just us, a forest, and a lake.  It was the perfect getaway.

Now to be totally fair it was not very non-distracting.  It was a large simple cabin, but we had 5 people in it, including 2 toddlers.  The girls quickly decorated the place by taking out every piece of plastic kitchenware and setting it up on the many coffee tables (each futon had its own table).  They then "made food" for everyone and tried to feed Joey.  Joey isn't really into pretend food.  So when he didn't respond to my daughter's demands that he eat,  it was the perfect opportunity to teach my 3 year old about bonding with Uncle Joey by playing his games first.  We had fun doing the "Joey shuffle" and noticing how comforting it was to stand with our backs against the wall.   We even practiced what it would be like to not talk, and how would we get people to know what we wanted?

Joey loved the attention, but he really needed it to be on his own terms.  When we turned on the music and started to dance (one of Joey's favorite activities), he would dance with me, but not his nieces.  I taught my daughters that Uncle Joey needed time to get used to new ideas and that we could help him, by telling him what we were hoping would happen and giving him lots of time to respond.   I picked up my youngest (pictured above) and asked Joey if he would like to dance with her.  Joey quickly dropped my hands and backed himself up against the wall.  I told him that was totally okay by me, but we would be right here if he wanted to try.  We didn't move for a few moments, Joey came back to us of his own free will and started playing with my daughter's shoulder as he moved back and forth.  Joey was dancing with her!   I was so surprised as he continued to join in all of our activities all night long, as long as we gave him lots and lots of time to respond on his own.

I was also amazed at how often Joey initiated activities and getting his needs met, by coming up to me and taking my hand.  Joey is a slow mover and when I'm not working with Joey, I often had other things on my mind and didn't always take the time to see what he wanted.  On this night, I really was paying attention to Joey. When he would come to me, he would grab my hand or shoulder, but he wouldn't move right away.  I would ask him what he wanted, and wait.  Sometimes he would move right away, other times it took him minutes to respond, but I just waited.  Every single time he would eventually lead me to something: food, the bathroom, the music, the couches.   In the past Joey usually seemed okay to go with the flow, but this was the first time I had ever seen Joey really initiating interaction with me when we were not in a playroom.  It was amazing, and I wondered how often he is trying to communicate, but no one is listening.

As an autism play therapist, I have worked with hundreds and hundreds of children and adults with special needs.  I have seen the power of "the pause" before, but I don't think I ever really understood it until this past Christmas.  Every person has their own processing time, and some take much much longer than others.  If we can really be present with our children and happily wait until their brains and bodies are caught up, I wonder how many amazing things they can show us they are already capable of!

 I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and that 2013 will be an even more amazing year than the past one!
Best wishes,
Katrina

3 Comments
Missy (Connole) Kelly
1/3/2013 07:03:48 am

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Joey was tiny, still a baby, when I last saw him. Jake has always been so great with Joey. I admire all you do. I am new to special education. I started as a 1:1 special needs nurse in January 2010. I love it! I have much to learn.

Reply
Katrina Kramlich
1/9/2013 01:35:14 am

Thanks Missy! Jake says he's always been a fan of yours too! I'm so glad that you are in the field now, we need more awesome people who are willing to give their love and time!

Reply
Liz
1/5/2013 07:13:05 am

Thanks for sharing. Its a beautiful story and a great reminder. :)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Katrina Kramlich

     The founder of Inspired Spectrums shares her tips and experiences in working with children and adults with autism.  Word of caution: she is occasionally sentimental and this is often reflected in her blogs :)

    Archives

    April 2018
    January 2018
    March 2017
    December 2016
    January 2016
    January 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    June 2014
    March 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    August 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    November 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    July 2010

    Categories

    All
    Attention Span
    Attitude
    Autism Developmental Play
    Conversation Skills
    Crying
    Eating New Foods
    Eye Contact
    Flexibility
    Games
    Iinitiating A Game
    Inspiration
    Joining
    Katrina Kramlich
    Katrina Kramlich
    Language
    Minnesota
    Parenting
    Playroom Resources
    Setting Boundaries
    Team Meetings
    Techniques
    Video

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Skakerman, Monkey Mash Button, katinalynn, GoodNCrazy, allyaubry, genphyslab, Idaho National Laboratory, Trondheim Byarkiv, juliejordanscott, wise.adam, WKeown, shoe the Linux Librarian, David.R.Carroll, Leap Kye, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com